I regularly reminisce about the past and compare past me to present me and today I was thinking, I am at a pretty good place right now. All of my major projects are done for this semester, summer will be a breeze, and I am on the cusp of a promotion. And gonna have a wedding, and see friends from different parts of our lives come together to watch us make out
So my job opened a new position that would be a good fit for me and my boss AND her boss encouraged me to apply as well as a couple other higher ups and I feel like I’m a shoe in but they are arranging interviews and I am feeling quite Nervous
That latte was truly the worst thing I could have done to my brain before bed. Deep in my anxiety now
Good things
Ordered my wedding dress
Almost done designing save the dates
My good friend got married on Saturday
Watched spirited away today for the first time in years and was taken back to being 10 years old and I realized the DVD was my easter present back then so it’s been 14 years since I first watched it. Time flies
I played a crane game and won a stuffed cow at Denny’s
Ate some good quesadillas for dinner
I’m in some weird limbo right now where I don’t feel motivated to create much of anything or work towards my goals, possibly because we might move next year and I have no idea where we’ll go or what I’ll do. I feel distant from friends in a weird way and most of my social interactions are all about work. I think i’m the one distancing myself, though by being self conscious and unable to express myself fully and be myself. I guess I’m just sorta floating right now. Preparing for a wedding and trying to finish this mural project. I had caffeine before bed which was a bad idea. Still feeling like I’ll be found out as a bad employee any day now and fired even though I was employee of the month. I have therapy tomorrow night but haven’t been sure of what to say in there the past couple times. My guard is going up because I told her some real dark stuff a while ago and I guess that’s what i do - stop revealing info after I’ve shown a little bit of the bad stuff.
